Emotional Intelligence Executive Master Coach at InLight Coaching. Let EI enhance your career and relationships with EQi-2/360® Assessments.
Having positivity means focusing with optimism on positive experiences, thoughts, emotions and ideas with the expectation that all is going to turn out well, or at least not end in disaster. It doesn’t mean avoiding all negative experiences but rather taking them on as simply part of life, something that needs to be dealt with. It also doesn’t mean that everything we do should be a mostly positive experience. Nor does it mean that we must exclude negative situations and pretend they don’t exist.
Life is complex, and the thinking person needs to consider all its aspects, both positive and negative. What having positivity does mean is maintaining an optimistic outlook on life so that the glass is half full, not half empty.
The Benefits Of Positivity
Positivity is one of those skills that can enhance every aspect of your life. A positive person will be more likely to see opportunities in the face of difficulty, making these people more effective problem-solvers and decision-makers. Positivity is also a source of energy. It makes people more likely to set goals and take action to achieve them. Consider for a moment what you might be capable of if success was guaranteed. Or, on the other hand, how restricted you would be if you knew your endeavor had only a small chance of success. A positive mindset provides the fuel to dream, to pursue those dreams and to turn them into concrete, attainable goals.
Also, positivity is infectious and generates energy that will be felt by those around you, making it a valuable trait for any leader or team member. And it can do wonders for personal relationships, whether intimate or social.
Negativity, on the other hand, depletes energy and encourages lethargy and inaction. It can dissuade us and others from embarking on a course of action, let alone completing it successfully. It can affect us mentally and physically, feeding depression, anger, guilt and a whole host of difficult emotions that can penetrate every aspect of our lives.
Transforming Negativity
However, it’s important to recognize that negative experiences are not without their value. They contribute to who we are as human beings.
Together, the positive and the negative make up the entire panoply of experiences, without which we would not grow, achieve wisdom or become complete people. Negative experiences can also help us overcome unrealistic optimism and positivity, which can lead to a sort of blindness. A constant Pollyanna attitude may seem like a desirable goal, but, as in most things, balance is required.
Developing Positivity
A positive attitude or the ability to focus on an optimistic outlook in life can be learned and developed through practice. With emotional intelligence practice, we can handle involuntary thoughts and unhelpful thought patterns that may be holding us back.
• The first step in improving thought patterns and behaviors is to be aware of their existence, differences and nuances. Ask yourself, “Am I evaluating this situation too negatively? Too positively?” or “Am I sugarcoating my reality or being too pessimistic about it?” Then, using emotional intelligence training, you can raise your awareness of whether you are leaning too far one way or the other.
• Developing justifiable positivity takes time and practice. You can gain this wisdom by resisting the temptation to allow setbacks to cause you to sink into negativity, instead always looking for an attainable outcome. Appreciate the effort and progress you are making and keep going. And, when you spot something negative, label it and consider its ramifications.
• Actively attempt to reframe things in a more positive light. It may not feel realistic to do so at first, but this practice will help your mind do the mental gymnastics required to make positivity a habit.
• Enjoy gratitude. Every day make a point of taking pleasure in and appreciating the small as well as the larger things in life. Consider keeping a gratitude journal.
• Even for things outside your control, attempting to see the positive in them can bring beneficial results. Like a muscle, trying to be positive, regardless of the result, is a great way to develop that ability and make it stronger.
• And lastly, don’t forget to be kind to yourself. When we try to attain something that at first blush seemed out of reach, initial failure and setbacks are normal. Don’t take these personally, but accept the lessons and appreciate that you are taking action rather than being a passive bystander in that ongoing drama that is your life.
Cultivate positivity to find a path through negativity and take more joy from the good things in life. It will give you the power to make life more fulfilling and meaningful.
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