There’s that one colleague who annoys you every time you go into the office or collaborate on a project virtually. More than the mere occasional annoyance, they always seem to have something negative to say, brag endlessly about their work, refuse to collaborate fully with the rest of the team, or jump to making decisions in your name without any of your input.
How do you effectively handle and resolve such difficult situations at work and maintain positive relations with your colleague? Here are five best practices to follow:
Timing Is Key
Never jump into initiating that long-awaited difficult conversation when you’re in the heat of the moment. Chances are, if you respond with feedback and address the issue straight away, your feedback will be emotionally charged and reactive instead of constructive, which hinders productive dialogue. At the same time, if you wait too long before addressing your colleague, it may be too late or ineffective.
The ripe moment for resolving this conflict is nearest the time a triggering event occurs, but not directly in the middle of it. Pull your colleague aside for informal catch-up when they are available by themselves, and keep it confidential. Discussing the situation with other parties can brew misunderstandings and break down trust which is often irreparable.
Focus On The Facts
To avoid any misunderstandings or your colleague feeling that you are judging them or making assumptions, be as objective in your approach as possible. Focus on the actual events that occurred and what you saw personally, not a rumor that you heard from someone else, or a guess about why you think they chose to take that action.
Begin your statements with “I felt,” instead of “You did this.” For example, “When you interjected me in that team meeting yesterday, I felt undermined in my role and didn’t feel like I had a space for my voice and opinions to be heard equally.” Taking this objective approach forces you to remove bias, while opening the door to improved understanding of your perspective and sympathy from them.
Focus On The Solution
In resolving conflict with a colleague, the solution is what’s most important so you can continue to work effectively together. After all, you don’t want it to erupt into a fruitless argument that leaves both parties disgruntled and unsatisfied, producing further animosity at work which makes you dread working with them. Agree on a mutual workaround for the issue and have a back-up plan in case the agreed-upon solution doesn’t work.
Actively Listen
Active listening is a crucial part of conflict resolution and giving difficult feedback in the workplace. When you practice this communication technique, you as the listener drop all preconceived opinions and listen non-judgementally to your colleague’s perspective. Instead of listening to respond, you listen to understand and you ask open-ended questions to get a fully-rounded picture.
Escalate If All Else Fails
In the worst case scenario, and especially if the colleague in question is toxic or unsafe to communicate with alone, escalate the issue to your manager and to your human resources department. They may decide to mediate, or depending on the gravity of the situation, implement disciplinary action on that individual.
Through choosing your timing wisely, approaching the situation objectively and with empathy, and keeping the mutual solution as the focus of your conversation, you can effectively navigate and resolve conflict with your colleague and ensure a successful working relationship moving forward.
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