A new study published in Personality and Individual Differences reveals why people with dark personalities find it difficult to forgive someone they feel wronged by. It has to do with their tendency towards “anger rumination.”
When trying to understand rumination, lead author Boban Nedeljković of the University of Belgrade in Serbia emphasizes the importance of distinguishing depressive rumination from anger rumination.
“Ruminating means having intrusive, repetitive thoughts about past events,” explains Nedeljković. “Depressive rumination is mostly characterized by self-blaming, while anger rumination is mostly characterized by blaming others for the (real or perceived) injustice one has experienced.”
According to the study, anger rumination has four distinct dimensions:
- Anger afterthoughts refers to repetitive and relentless thoughts about the triggering event such as how it could have gone differently or all that one could have said or done.
- Angry memories refers to a preoccupation with replaying the triggering event in your head over and over again.
- Thoughts of revenge refers to one’s fixation on seeking retribution or getting their wrongdoer to “payback.”
- Understanding of causes refers to an obsession with searching for a meaningful or satisfying cause or explanation for the perceived mistreatment.
While previous research has made clear that dark personalities struggle with forgiveness, Nedeljković’s research explores how anger rumination contributes to this struggle.
The researchers conducted a survey consisting of 629 adult participants and found that individuals with higher levels of machiavellianism (characterized by manipulative tendencies and a need for personal gain) and psychopathy (characterized by a lack of empathy and impulsivity) tend to be less forgiving. They were instead more inclined to hold grudges or seek revenge against those who had wronged them.
How Does A Dark Mind Process Being “Wronged?”
The dark personality’s lack of forgiveness is exacerbated, as explained by the study, due to their engagement in anger rumination. The researchers suggest that this tendency can come from wanting to “correct” the injustice and bring oneself emotional relief by seeking revenge.
Specifically, thoughts of revenge help in perpetuating negative thoughts, feelings and behavior. Consequently, individuals scoring high in machiavellianism and psychopathy struggle to maintain positive thoughts about their wrongdoers, which impedes the process of successfully forgiving someone.
To illustrate how these traits can manifest in real-life scenarios, Nedeljković provides the following examples:
- An individual high on machiavellianism could experience anger rumination when someone in their academic or corporate circle is awarded an accolade or promotion they were eyeing. This could lead them to use manipulative tactics to take jabs at their success to feel like the scales of justice are back in balance.
- An individual high on psychopathy could feel triggered in many social settings where their expectations go unmet. If someone confronts them, making them seem less dominant or in control—it can send the individual into a deep anger rumination spiral, making forgiveness improbable.
Nedeljković adds that dark triad traits are associated with low agreeableness, causing individuals with these traits to interpret situations with more hostility and triggering anger more frequently. Psychopathy, characterized by its lack of empathy and consideration for others, also intensifies the tendency to ruminate about revenge.
A 2023 study offers the explanation of a lack of ‘effortful control’ in individuals high in dark traits. Ordinarily, effortful control—or the ability to regulate one’s behavior—mitigates anger rumination, but its deficiency contributes to greater anger, aggression and the tendency to harbor grudges.
Machiavellianism and psychopathy have also been linked to moral disengagement, which may prevent benevolent attitudes and reconciliatory behavior from taking root.
However, the researchers do believe there is hope for change.
“There is enough reason to believe that changing someone’s way of thinking about anger by employing, for example, mindfulness or cognitive-behavioral training might result in improved anger management and eventually promote forgiveness in all forms of human relationships,” says Nedeljković.
Conclusion
The intricate relationship between dark personality traits and forgiveness highlights the challenges individuals with these traits face in letting go of grudges and turning vengeful if they feel wronged. These traits intensify negative emotions and inhibit positive ones, largely due to anger rumination. While these traits may cast a shadow, there is hope that exploring therapeutic interventions and promoting emotional self-awareness can illuminate the path towards forgiveness.
A full interview with researcher Boban Nedeljković discussing his research can be found here: Research reveals why dark personalities are champions at holding grudges
Read the full article here
