Two things I remember about my very first suit. It was a powder blue suit—perfect for Easter Sunday church dress-up. And it was a “big boy” event. I was seven years old. Joseph Neel’s Men’s Wear in Macon, Georgia, was a two-hour drive from my rural hometown, and we visited only every August to buy school clothes. But this purchase required a special spring journey.
The “big boy” event started with the salesperson pulling up a chair in front of me at my eye level. He shook my hand and introduced himself by his first name, not “Mr.” Without a single glance at my dad, he asked me about my favorite color. And my second favorite color. He asked me about my hobbies and wanted to know my best friend’s name. We were pals in a matter of minutes. I walked out of the store very tall with a suit in my favorite color, a white dress shirt, a pair of shoes, and a tie in my second favorite color. Did I mention that I was seven? What made this such a positive memory? I was more than well served; I was honored.
You’ve said it many times, especially when receiving a special gift. “I am honored,” you say with humility and a hint of shyness. Honoring someone is a vibrant and authentic gesture of respect. It is far more profound than some pampering form of specialness; it demonstrates esteem, reverence, and admiration. When customers are honored, their longevity and loyalty ramp up geometrically. Here are three ways to show honor to your customers.
Honor with Obvious Respect
Respectful service—experiences filled with evident high regard—starts and ends with an observable devotion for customers. It is like a “random act of kindness,” only respectful service is not random; it is perpetual. When the research group at the pioneering company Medtronic is stumped on a medical device innovation, they invite patients who have had success with previous Medtronic products to talk to about their experiences. Medtronic leaders claim this mutual admiration gathering has contributed to many breakthroughs. Respect fuels respect just like the infectiousness of a warm smile.
My wife and I had lunch at one of the Culinary Institute of America restaurants near Hyde Park, New York. Our waiter was graduating from CIA the next day to become the sous chef at the Philadelphia Ritz-Carlton Hotel restaurant. When my wife ordered lamb chops, the waiter said, “Our chef recommends these be served medium rare, but do you have a different opinion?” Closely examine her line. “Our chef (who is a professor of chefs), recommends these be served medium rare, but your opinion is just as learned, valued, and important as our resident expert.” It was a simple, noble gesture of honor.
Think of serving with honor as “grandmother-style service.” Grandmothers spoil you just because they get a kick out of it—remembering your favorite everything, always giving you a little extra, and cheering you up when others chastise you. Grandmothers believe you are still terrific even after your parents grounded you. Honoring customers is the service equivalent of being your customers’ grandma.
Honoring with a Non-judgmental Spirit
For several years, I served on the faculty of Marriott’s Executive Education Program––a week-long residential learning experience for high-potential general managers (GM) held quarterly at a conference center on the eastern shore of Maryland. One session followed Marriott’s acquisition of hotel properties from Whitbread Hotels, a UK hospitality company. A former Whitbread GM attended the program.
The cultural personalities of Whitbread and Marriott could not have been more different. That reality surfaced loudly during an animated discussion in a morning class. The Whitbread GM aimed a sarcastic, biting tease point-blank at a Marriott GM. In an instant the entire class went silent for an uncomfortably long time. The Whitbread GM was noticeably confused at the reaction to his comment, one entirely appropriate in the more acerbic British culture in which he lived and worked.
At the first break, three Marriott GMs pulled the Whitbread GM aside. I could hear bits and pieces of their assertive conversation. Bottom line, the message was clear—we do not speak to one another in a judgmental or sarcastic way. The Marriott culture is laced with strong allegiance to kindness, supportiveness, and authenticity. They take seriously Edwards Deming’s profound wisdom to drive fear out of the workplace. Honoring happens best in a climate of acceptance and attentiveness.
Honor Customers with a Sursy
I found this new word—“sursy.” Before you look it up, let me give you a clue. It is the physical version of a random act of kindness. It can turn even the dourest countenance into a jovial wide-angle beam.
My wife and I rented a rustic cabin in Maggie Valley, North Carolina while visiting a friend in the nearby hospital. Arriving at our stream-side cabin at Twin Brook Resorts, we unpacked the car. When the ice chest got its turn, we encountered a sursy! A fresh “Sock it To Me” cake was sitting in the refrigerator with a cheery note. “We know you have been traveling and thought this would come in handy.” It was signed by the owners—Lyndon and Greg. We were thrilled!
A sursy is an unexpected gift, a tangible demonstration of generosity unassociated with an event that might warrant a gift—like a birthday or a gift-giving holiday. It is an old Southern word, but even some forever, dyed-in-the-wool Southerners have never heard of it. Regardless of the moniker, it should have an ever-present residence in how customers are served.
Giving a “sursy” is much like “dating” your customer. Remember what it was like to be new in a special love relationship. You were always looking for acts of magnanimity to remind the love of your life of their importance to you. You never took that person for granted. You celebrated small moments and bestowed sursys—even without knowing that word. What if your customers received similar treatment? Start thinking about what sursy you might want to select for your customer! It will show you care as it honors their contribution.
Nobilize the Practice of Honoring
What are ways to start this potentially viral mutual admiration society? Be famous for your generosity. An abundant attitude attracts and retains customers because it conveys the kind of unconditional positive regard that characterizes relationships at their very best. Customers like the way they feel when dealing with service providers who have such an orientation. They feel valued, not used. They enjoy relationships laced with substance and value far more than encounters that are functional, but hollow. In the words of Judith Olney, “Always serve too much hot fudge sauce on hot fudge sundaes.”
Get in the habit of honoring others by expressing thanks to people who never get expressions of gratitude—the custodian in the bathroom, the cashier in the checkout line, the “invisible,” taken-for-granted maintenance people. Be a proactive guardian of your customers’ dignity. Never tolerate disdainful comments about customers from employees or associates. Respectful service entails an extra helping of help and a sincere interest in making a difference in the welfare of those around you. Give for the sheer joy of giving.
Honoring comes in countless forms. We honor with ceremony, ritual, and eloquent elocution. Awards, plaques, and decorations publicize our expressions. But honoring is bottom line about how a person is treated. In the words of Eliza Doolittle in the hit musical My Fair Lady, “The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated.”
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