Linda Allen-Hardisty is a trusted executive coach, supporting leaders’ personal and company growth. | Allen-Hardisty Leadership Group.
Leaders are facing new and complex challenges in the workplace. When you lead a department or a company, you aren’t only charged with delivering business results. You are also responsible for managing interpersonal relationships and cultivating a healthy and empathetic work environment for all employees.
I believe that emotional intelligence, particularly in relation to empathy, creates the foundation for your ongoing leadership development. It is the basis for establishing trust and creating motivation in others to pursue tough work.
Strong emotional intelligence can help you boost self-confidence, build relationships, make better decisions and manage stress more effectively. Research has linked empathy in the workplace to improved employee outcomes, including innovation, engagement and inclusion. A recent survey from Ernst & Young found that empathetic leadership drives positive change, mutual respect, increased productivity and reduced employee turnover.
Emotional intelligence at work isn’t a new concept, but it’s worth looking at it with fresh eyes. Emotional intelligence is a muscle that needs to be strengthened regularly. Yet sometimes leaders neglect this muscle, especially when they move to an executive level. The reasons for this oversight vary, but in my work as an executive coach, one common theme I’ve seen is leaders becoming too absorbed in the power and pressure of their title and authority.
If you realize you’ve gone off course, it’s not too late to make changes. Investing in your emotional intelligence is investing in the leader you want to become. An effective approach is to ask yourself: What experience of me do I want others to have?
A Fresh Look At Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is a set of social skills that enables you to understand and manage your own energy and emotions, as well as understand and influence the energy and emotions of those around you. But in my work with executives, I like to reframe it as emotional effectiveness. How emotionally effective can you be with a particular challenge going forward? How can you be more emotionally effective when leading and inspiring your organization?
I once worked with a CEO who wanted to level up his emotional effectiveness at work. He realized, two years into his new role, that his emotional intelligence and confidence had declined, compared to his time as a vice president.
He had been a VP for many years and felt confident in his abilities in that role—but as CEO, he was still adapting to his new position and its unique demands. His relationships had also shifted once he started running the organization, and he felt more isolated not being surrounded by peers. By talking about how he could improve his emotional effectiveness, he gave himself permission to learn and grow and not be perfect.
Common Misconceptions About Emotional Intelligence
Several myths about emotional intelligence persist among leaders:
• Being emotionally intelligent means being emotional: In reality, emotional intelligence isn’t about overtly expressing emotions. It’s a toolbox of skills that shapes how you manage your emotions and interact with everyone around you.
• Employees don’t want emotionally effective leaders: Today’s employees want you to be a real person with a full range of emotions. They appreciate leaders who show vulnerability and encourage them to do the same.
• Empathy isn’t a business priority: Creating strong relationships and seeking to understand others’ perspectives is critical for organizations, especially now, as many executives are nurturing the next generation of leaders.
Strategies For Developing Emotional Effectiveness At Work
Even if it doesn’t come naturally, you can learn to be a more emotionally intelligent and empathetic leader.
Challenge Your Preconceptions
Examine your pre-existing ideas about emotional intelligence. Stay curious, and explore the latest research on empathy in the workplace. Be open to receiving feedback from others in your organization through 360-degree assessments. These evaluations give you the chance to acknowledge your strengths and identify areas where you want to grow.
Find Your Style
Cultivate self-awareness and understand how you’re perceived by others, not just how you see yourself. Practice drawing from different tools in your toolbox, depending on each situation and what would be most effective for the people you are leading.
For example, there are times when cognitive empathy—showing understanding for what a person is going through without taking on their emotions—is the best approach. And there are other moments when emotional empathy—experiencing the other person’s emotions and feeling compassion—is more helpful.
Keep Growing
Emotional intelligence is an ongoing process. Stay open, and recognize that you will always be learning and growing as a leader. Remember that you can be both firm and empathetic. Emotional effectiveness doesn’t require you to be one or the other; try to find the balance that is right for you and the situation.
I believe emotional intelligence is not a soft skill but a critical competency that will play a pivotal role in defining the leaders of the future. Developing self-awareness and emotional effectiveness can help you become a better leader and create a stronger, healthier and more inclusive work environment.
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