Refusal to Visit a Parent
At age 18 in all of the United States, a child can decide not to visit the other parent without consequence to themselves or the favored parent. Children who are considered legal adults (age 18 in most states) may always refuse to spend time with a parent. Technically, any child who is not yet a legal adult isn’t allowed to refuse visitation. In practice, however, the situation is a bit murkier than that.
Prior to age 18, the age varies as when a court will consider the child’s preference as to one parent over another. Some courts allow teenagers -ages 14-15-16-17-to determine their custody with “their feet”. Children are not considered legally emancipated, freed from parental control, until age 18.
What is “Self-Emancipation of a Minor’?
While the general rule re refusal to visit a parent doesn’t occur until age 18, a child can “self-emancipate” from both parent’s control.
To pursue emancipation through a court decree, the child can file for a declaration of emancipation without their parent’s permission in some states.
Each state has different regulations applicable to the process, and typically, there’s a minimum age requirement. In California, emancipation petitions can be filed at the age of 14, and in Mississippi, there’s no minimum age requirements. Not all states allow a court to grant emancipation to a minor. New York does not allow the minor to petition for emancipation but can do so in conjunction with another legal action such as custody or child support.
The court considers the “best interest” of the child. The court will consider:
- Ability to prove you are financially self-supporting
- Living apart from your parents or have made other living arrangements
- Ability to make decisions for yourself
- Attending school or have received a diploma or GED
- Mature enough to function as an adult
If the child can’t provide their own financial support and must rely on their parents, a court can determine that emancipation is not in the minor’s best interests.
Famous people who self-emancipated
Macaulay Culkin, Drew Barrymore, Courtney Love, Alicia Silverstone, Jena Malone, Michelle Williams, Ariel Winter, Corey Feldman, Laura Dern, and Jaime Pressly all self-emancipated as reported by the stars themselves in memoirs, interviews, court documents. Both Alicia Silverstone, Laura Dern and Michelle Williams did so to avoid child labor laws thereby increasing the hours they could work on set.
At what age does the court consider the child’s wishes re visitation?
Below are a few select state’s law’s age for considering a child’s preference re visitation and the age at which a child can petition to self-emancipate:
In Arkansas— ‘the court must consider a child’s preference when the child is of sufficient age and mental capacity to have a reasonable opinion.”
A child must be at least 17 years of age to self-emancipate.
In Indiana—“In Indiana, a child’s wishes regarding custody are not controlling until the child is at least 14 years old, to help minimize any undue influence from a parent.”
In Florida— “the age a child can choose a parent to live with will depend on the child’s overall maturity. Unlike other states, in Florida, there is no particular age when courts must consider a child’s preference.”
To self-emancipate, minors must be at least 16 years of age and submit a statement of character, habits, education, income, and mental capacity for business. They must also explain how they will meet their own needs of food, shelter, clothing, medical care, and other necessities.
In Connecticut— “there’s no fixed age at which a court must consider a child’s wishes regarding custody. Still, courts will generally consider the opinion of children aged 13 or older and disregard the opinions of children who are five or younger.”
To self-emancipate, a child must be at least 16 years of age.
In Louisiana—“Louisiana courts don’t have a specific age when they must consider a child’s preference. Each judge must determine, on a case-by-case basis, whether a child is mature enough to have a meaningful opinion.”
A child of age 16 can ask a court for emancipation from their parents.
In Texas—Texas Family Code – Chapter 153, section 153.009 states that if a parent, or an attorney appointed by the court to specifically represent the children’s interest, requests that the judge interview a child 12 or older, the judge must do so.” For a child under the age of 12, the statute leaves it up to the judge to decide whether to speak with the child.
In New York— “A child’s preference to live with one parent may be taken into consideration, depending on the age of the child. The closer the child is to 18 years old, the more weight the court will give to the child’s wishes.”
In California— “Although children may be entitled to have their wishes heard in custody disputes, judges aren’t required to follow those preferences. As a practical matter, the older children are, the more weight judges are likely to give their opinion about which parent they want to stay with most of the time, and how much time they want to spend with the other parent.”
To self-emancipate, the minor must be no younger than 14 years old, live apart from their parents, show the ability to care for themselves financially, and not receive any income from illegal or criminal activity. If the minor’s situation changes, the court can end the emancipation and tell the minor’s parents that they are again responsible for the child.
What Burden is the Custodial Parent Under to Enforce Visitation?
The custodial parent is generally deemed the parent who is the protector of the non-custodial parent’s parenting time. This means it your responsibility to be sure the child attends every visit. If you are unable to get your child to visit the other parent because the child doesn’t want to visit, you should do everything within your power to get the child to cooperate with the scheduled parenting time. If you allow your child to miss parenting time, without making a serious effort to work the issue out, a judge may very well conclude that you’re interfering with the other parent’s visitation.
It is generally understood that getting teenage children to do anything is a parenting challenge but not an excuse.
What Are the consequences for failure to produce the child for a visit?
If you do not produce the child for visitation, it can lead to a variety of consequences, such as:
- being fined for contempt of court, which could result in fines or even jail time, or
- depending on your state and the circumstances, potentially losing primary custody of the child.
What should you do?
There are the things you should try:
Communicate and Document
If you can, and if the other parent will listen, try to speak with the other parent. Use the means of communication in your parenting agreement. If the child has given reasons for why they don’t want to visit, try to discuss them with the other parent. You can suggest that you meet with a mediator or parent coordinator to discuss the problem if you have one assigned to your case.
Speak With Your Child
Communicate with the child about the importance of maintaining a close relationship with the other parent. Encourage them to go on the visit. If they are old enough, and the other parent is likely to be receptive, encourage them to express their feelings to the other parent.
Seek a Change in Custody or Parenting Time
Some problems can be resolved by changing the schedule to better accommodate the child’s activities or school schedule especially if they are a teenager. If the other parent is not amenable to this suggestion, you may have to seek court intervention.
The general burden to modify an existing custody agreement is a substantial change in circumstance by a preponderance of the evidence (about 51%). Even if you are able to show a substantial change in circumstance, you must still show it is in the child’s best interest to change custody.
What if there is abuse?
If the child has been abused by the other parent as the reason they do not want to visit, you may need to seek an order of protection on behalf of the child.
The rights of parents
The right of a parent to have parenting time with their children has been a right codified in our laws of child custody. It is the parent’s right to have meaningful time with their child. It is presumed that time with both parents is in the child’s best interest.
Most social scientists report that having two involved parents is in the child’s best interest.
In a disputed custody proceeding, it is the parents who present their reasons for custody to a court each trying to prove it is in the child’s best interest to spend more time with them than the other parent.
The court may in its discretion speak with the child. The court’s consideration of the child’s wishes is codified by each individual state but the overarching consideration given to a child’s wishes is based on their age and maturity. In the end, the judge is the ultimate arbiter of the child’s best interest.
A comparison of refusing to visit a parent and self-emancipation from both parents
To refuse visitation, the child must be of suitable age and maturity for a court to give consideration to the child’s wishes re visitation. To self-emancipate, the child must be living on their own and must be self-supporting. In essence, a minor child cannot pick and choose between parents but can divorce themselves from both parents if they can afford to do so. Both actions, refusing visitation and self-emancipation require a court to determine that it is in the child’s best interests. At age 18 in most states the child is deemed emancipated by law.
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